


I've got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you

by Madelasha



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, M/M, also Phil is a cat, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madelasha/pseuds/Madelasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Honestly Phil I’m not even surprised you managed to get yourself turned into a cat.”</p><p>The cat, Phil, headbutts Dan’s hand and starts purring when the petting resumes. “You realize I’m sensually caressing your back right?” Phil’s tail promptly flicks him in the face twice. “Okay, okay, shutting up now.”</p><p>(Basically Phil is a cat for a week. Dan is not impressed but still cuddles the fuck out of him.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: THIS IS THE MOST RIDIC THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN OH GOD I AM SO SORRY. IT’S PURE CRACK WITH LIKE STUPID AMOUNTS OF FLUFF AT THE END and blink and you'll miss it angst IDK FORGIVE ME. ALSO THIS ISN’T REAL. PHIL IS NOT A CAT. I HAVE LOST MY DAMN MIND FUCK THIS PHANDOM.

Dan wakes up on thursday with a mouthful of fur and a cold nose poking his own.

“What the fuck?” He sits up, nearly knocking over the cat previously perched on his chest and then it registers; there’s a fucking cat on his bed. They don’t have a cat. Partly because if their landlord allowed animals in the building they would be running a zoo by now, but mostly because Dan doesn’t think Phil needs the help of another pair of big sad eyes to get his way most of the time.

Speaking of...

”Phil!”

Dan waits a couple of seconds for any sign of recognition and gets nothing. “Phil! There’s a bloody cat in my bed.”

The cat starts pawing at his face and meowing frantically and Dan is honestly just done with this entire day.

“Will you relax?” He asks the cat, then promptly realizes he’s talking to a cat.

“Reassess your life Daniel.” He tells himself with a sigh.

The only reason he doesn’t push it off the bed is because Phil would kill him (and a little bit because it’s _really_ cute ok?)

After a couple of minutes of silence in the apartment he gets out of bed and goes into Phil’s room, which is empty. The bed doesn’t look slept on. His laptop and phone are both on the counter. Dan looks down at the cat and briefly considers questioning him.

The kitten meows pitifully until Dan picks him up and starts petting him absentmindedly.

“Did you kill him?” He asks the kitten, smiling without meaning to. It looks up and Dan is startled by the color of his eyes. In the morning light they look blue mostly but also green and yellow and they’re looking at him with a guilty expression that is scarily familiar.

He stops petting the cat and sighs for a very, very long time.

“Honestly Phil I’m not even surprised you managed to get yourself turned into a cat.”

The cat, Phil, head butts Dan’s hand and starts purring when the petting resumes. “You realize I’m sensually caressing your back right?” Phil’s tail promptly flicks him in the face twice. “Okay, okay, shutting up now.”

\----

So, after almost an hour of painful attempts at communication, Dan is pretty sure Phil found a creepy Tumblr post last night with some ridiculous instructions on how to become a cat, and it somehow worked. Again, he probably should be more worried than he is but living with Phil has prepared him for the weirdest situations (most of them regarding either animals or plants.)

He finds the tumblr post in Phil’s likes page and reblogs it with a simple caption that says “DO NOT”. Apparently, the spell is only meant to last seven days, which is good.

The bad news is they’re supposed to host the radio show on monday and Phil has his livestream on saturday, and well, Phil’s just going to have to hand over the keys of his life to Dan (aka his passwords to everything ever) so that the fans don’t go apeshit and riot their apartment in his absence.

In the end, he decides it’s too early to worry. It’s still thursday, they have a brand new anime they were planning on watching today and by the way Phil’s clawing wistfully at the tv, Dan can asume he’s on board with procrastinating through being a cat.

Dan settles down on the sofa with a couple of throw pillows and a blanket, leaving a small spot by his feet for Phil when the cat jumps right into his lap and cuddles there.

“Really, Phillip?”

Phil looks straight at the tv with determination and snuggles down further into the blanket, his ginger paws clawing slightly at the fabric of Dan’s pajama bottoms where they peek from beneath the comforter.

“Right, I see how it is, taking advantage of being fluffy and cute,” Phil digs his claws into Dan’s thigh and meows up at him. “Yes, yes, you’re also cute as a human. Jeez, fishing for compliments much?”

He presses play and tangles his fingers in Phil’s ginger mane because he really does look ridiculously cute and Dan only has so much self control.  
\----

Louise shows up on friday. The truth is Dan completely forgot they were going to film a video today, what with Phil turning into a bloody cat and all that. Still, she’s here now, they might as well get something done.

He ushers Phil into his room, instructing him to stay quiet and opens the door for Louise, who barges in singing, as per usual.

“Hi luv, where’s Phil?” Are the first words out of her mouth, and Dan blanks completely.

“I don’t know, we’re not actually attached at the hip you know?”. He’s aware of how defensive he sounds but he can’t help it. This is very last minute and Dan needs _at least_ a couple of hours to come up with a decent excuse for something because he’s shit at lying.

Louise’s eyebrows go up. “Oookay then, did you two have a fight?”

Dan sighs, “Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it okay?”

Her face drops to a pout immediately “Oh Dan, but you two get along better than most couples I know.”

Dan turns around abruptly, “We’re not a couple, and it’s nothing bad, we just needed to cool off so he left.”

Louise has this look on her face like she’s about to grill him for more answers when her eyes widen and a bright grin appears on her face. “Does it have anything to do with this gorgeous fellow here?” She says, bending down to stroke Phil-the-cat’s head.

Dan quietly face-palms. So much for hiding in his room. “Phil, you attention seeker.”

“What?”

“Um, nothing.” He glares down at Phil and subtly starts pushing Louise in the direction of his room. “Come on, we’ve got a video to film.”

Somehow Phil ends up in the video as well (it was inevitable, and he’ll deal with the questions later) and by late afternoon Dan has a couple of hours of footage to edit. He and Louise order a pizza and when Phil casually points at the meatlovers on the takeout menu with a paw, Dan ignores him entirely.

“So,” says Louise taking a huge bite of hawaiian pizza “It’s quite late isn’t it?”

There are two nearly empty pizza boxes, an open bag of chips on the floor, and what looks like their entire dvd collection on the couch (Louise couldn’t decide). The tiny clock on the tv blinks at him reminding him that normal people have lives, unlike him.

“Oh, do you have to leave? I can edit by myself it’s fine really.”

Louise rolls her eyes “No dummy, Phil isn’t back.”

Right. What Louise doesn’t know is that she spent all afternoon feeding Phil bits of pizza thinking Dan wouldn’t notice. As if.

“It’s fine, actually he said he was going to stay over with some friends tonight.” That was a crappy excuse, even for Dan.

Louise’s eyebrows go all the way up to her hairline “Dan what did you _do_?”

“Oh my - Louise, nothing is going on okay? Phil and I are _fine_ ”

He can tell she’s not about to give up though, and she proves him right when she says “Babe, I still don’t know why you two aren’t together though. I mean you were like, proper in love.”

Not this again.

Inevitably, every time he and Louise hang out the conversation always ends in the same place at some point.

Dan closes his eyes tightly until he starts seeing green spots behind his eyelids. He feels a hand slowly rubbing his back and slumps against the comfort of Louise’s arms. “I fucked up, that’s what happened. I was young and scared and stupid and he moved on, obviously”. He sighs and sits up, looking at his hands “And now it’s too late.”

He looks up at her because it’s not like her to be silent for this long and her face is all scrunched up in sadness.

Dan breathes out a shaky laugh, trying to lighten the mood. “It’s okay really, he’s my best friend and we share a life together, even if it’s not exactly in the way we expected.”

Louise still looks like she wants to smother him with hugs so he stands up quickly. “Alright, I think we’ve procrastinated enough, let’s go edit that monster.”

They get up and Dan is putting away the dirty dishes away when he hears Louise cooing from the living room “what were you doing hiding behind the couch love?”

The following ’meow’ makes Dan accidentally smash a glass on the counter.

Well, fuck.

\-----

They haven’t talked about it.

Well Dan hasn’t talked about it because Phil can only meow pitifully in response and to be honest if they’re ever going to have that particular conversation he would prefer it if Phil was an actual human at the time.

He sends out a tweet from Phil’s phone about being too ill to do the liveshow that hopefully sounds enough like something Phil would say without it being suspicious.

When he’s done he ignores both his and Phil’s @ replies in favor of wrapping himself up in a burrito of blankets and quietly retire to his bedroom for the day.

One minute he’s browsing mindlessly through his tumblr and the next he’s waking up from a three hour nap with a purring ball of fur curled into him under the blankets.

Dan rubs his eyes, trying (and failing) to focus them, and the movement seems to disturb Phil, who meows grumpily and stretches out his paws towards Dan’s face, little claws extending for a second before retracting again.

“When did you get in here?” He’s petting Phil’s tiny paws, which are now resting limp against Dan’s top. Phil meows in response, “were you cold?, is that it? I’m sorry I kind of abandoned you, I just needed to hide for a bit.”

Phil touches the side of Dan’s face, his eyes sad.

“I really hope what you heard yesterday doesn’t change things between us,” Dan starts, taking a deep breath “I’ve always loved you, I don’t think that’s news. But Phil, I’m happy being your friend, honestly it’s a privilege being your best friend and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

Phil scoots even closer to his face, gazing intently into his eyes as if trying to communicate something to him.

“And I know it was my fault, that we broke up in the first place I mean,” Dan says, now that he’s started he’s having trouble stopping. “And I’ve only got myself to blame, I know, but I’m fine really. We’re fine, right?”

Phil meows once and then there’s a cold nose pressed up against his own, making him snort.

The kitten cuddles up against him again, going to sleep almost immediately. Dan watches him quietly for a couple of minutes, definitely not thinking wistfully about the times they used to sleep curled up like this, only in a different flat, in a smaller bed when he was allowed to wake Phil up with sleepy kisses, once upon a time.

\------

Inevitably, they spend the entire weekend on lockdown. Dan tries desperately to keep up with all their social media accounts all sunday, making it both one if his most exhausting yet boring days ever.

Even watching anime or gaming starts losing its appeal without Phil’s commentary and occasional non-sensical remark by monday, so Dan makes the decision to just do their radio show on his own. He lets the bbc know about Phil’s “illness of death” and is about to head out the door when he hears a meow, followed by a scratch on his ankle.

“Okay first of all OW” he says down to Phil, who is angrily pawing at his jeans, “and second of all I am not taking you with me to the BBC.”

He tries to keep walking but Phil clings stubbornly to his ankle.

“You’re not even allowed in the studio.”

“Meow!”

“Alright but if we get sacked I get to gloat _forever_.”

\---

So Dan is trying to illegally smuggle a cat into the bbc radio one’ offices, typical monday in the lives of Dan and Phil.

It helps that Phil is actually aware of his actions, unlike a regular cat, and keeps eerily still inside Dan’s jacket all the way to their studio.

What doesn’t help is the fact that every time Dan is stopped by someone on the way, Phil’s teeny tiny claws sink alarmingly close to Dan’s left nipple. In fact, the first time it happened he swore so loudly he attracted the attention of the cleaning lady, who then proceeded to back away from him veeeeery slowly whilst holding a mop as if it was a shield. Dan opened his mouth to explain and then closed it promptly when he remembered the actual reason why he swore would probably get him committed to a health institution or thrown out of the building, and then decided it was a better idea to just silently walk away in shame.

Once inside the studio he quickly explains to the crew about his ’friend’ leaving the cat in his care and how he just couldn’t leave him alone with Phil because he’s allergic (which is eight different kinds of ironic).

In the end he shouldn’t have worried. Everyone is enamoured with Phil, petting him and letting him climb on things he shouldn’t (namely the control panel) all throughout the show.

Dan sighs in despair as Phil plays the wrong sound effect on purpose with his paw for the tenth time in a row. He looks to Victoria for support but finds the entire crew either awing or with their phones out recording everything the kitten does.

So he keeps talking nonsense as a cow moos in the background repeatedly, while side-glaring at Phil for half an hour.

When it’s time to present his random song of the day, since he’s the default winner of the seven second challenge, Phil actually has the nerve of changing the song to ’Oops I did it again’ by Britney Spears at the last minute because he’s a fucking troll like that.

By the end of the radio show everyone in the office is pretty much dying of laughter and Phil is looking mighty pleased with himself.

So pleased in fact, he doesn’t even notice when Dan ’accidentally’ knocks over a bottle of water right on top of his head and soaks him completely.

What a shame.

-

After the radio show people are starting to come up with conspiracy theories on why Phil hasn’t shown his face in days and why Dan seems to have a cat shaped shadow lately.

Most of them think they’re fighting, some of them even suggesting Phil has moved out and the cat is Dan’s rebound flatmate, which is hilarious.

The crazier ones though, are the closest to the truth, thinking they’re stuck in a quest where Phil turned into a cat in order to fulfill some unresolved sexual tension issue and the only way he’ll turn back is if they declare their undying love to each other and fuck in the kitchen at least three times, according to that one fanfic he read.

There’s this one girl who even took the time to put a nice little masterpost of all the reasons why she is absolutely sure Phil is a cat now. It includes everything from snapshots of the tumblr post Dan reblogged on the first night to photos of Phil with his natural ginger hair, comparing the color with the cat’s fur.

It’s impressively well made so Dan goes ahead and reblogs the post, disregarding the pair of cat eyes glaring at him when he does.

Phil is the one who went and bloody turned himself into a cat, so he can deal with the consequences.

Even if they’re both pretending to be angry at each other, Phil still climbs into Dan’s bed soon after he goes to sleep, and Dan casually curls up into him with a content sigh.

\----------

Dan wakes up feeling well rested after sleeping almost ten hours. He walks into the kitchen only to find Phil angrily meowing at the box of Shreddies on the counter. He snorts and walks over, telling Phil to go sit at the sofa and wait for him.

He’s pouring some oatmeal for himself and some shreddies for Phil and thinking about today’s liveshow, wondering if it would be best to just cancel it like they did Phil’s. He’s pretty sure the fans would kill him and the conspiracy theories would start getting even more ridiculous though.

They have breakfast in companionable silence as they watch the great british bakeoff for a change. Dan is all for anime but sometimes he just feels like watching a bunch of strangers stressing over breadsticks. He finds it oddly relaxing. It's his version of doing yoga.

Phil looks very antsy all day, which considering the amount of time they both spend locked up in their flat on a regular basis, Dan thinks it must be a cat thing.

Dan decides to just throw caution to the wind and just do the live show with Phil. He tweets about having a special guest and everyone starts shouting PHIL at him in the replies.

Phil-the-cat goes into hiding as soon as Dan logs on Younow, patiently waiting behind a cushion to jump into frame at the opportune moment because Phil loves to make an entrance.

Dan starts rambling about nothing in particular for a couple of minutes when a loud meow interrupts his profound waffle about how his zodiac was wrong and he was not both a problematic fave and a cinnamon roll, but _only_ a problematic fave, clearly.

He waves Phil into shot and the ginger cat leaps onto his lap, meowing at the screen a bunch of times (Dan thinks he’s doing his thing where he says hello to a bunch of people. Admittedly, it’s less effective in cat form.)

Dan addresses the questions about the cat like he does his Haru pillow, which is to say, not at all; making a big fucking deal out of Anahita being number two for almost the entire show until the very end when she brings it back.

He talks about the disaster that was the radio show (the fans LOVE it, of course) and about his new collab with Louise (quickly becoming a favorite with their usual combination of awkward, funny and dumb).

He ends the show with a vague comment about Phil’s plague of death, leaving the people even more confused than before. By now even their friends are getting worried, sending him DMs and texts demanding to know if He actually killed Phil and replaced him with a cat.

\----------  
Phil POV

The last day Phil spends as a cat is...interesting. He’s been cooped up in his house -all week-. He’s pawed, clawed and chewed everything within sight and he’s -dying- to go outside.

Phil’s never felt this way before; restless and like a little ball of energy just waiting to explode. He wants to smell new things. Things that aren’t his old converse or the bottom of the sofa (although he does think he could spend all day buried in Dan’s comforters or the pocket of his hoodie.)

They go out to the park and Phil goes _insane_ for a bit. He runs laps around the park until he feels he’s going so fast his feet are barely touching the ground anymore. He chases after a tiny chubby child that has a lollypop in his hand, licking the drops that fall to the ground greedily. And he delights in scaring a bunch of pigeons getting a little too close to where Dan is sitting.

He doesn't know how long they spend there, only that when he finally stops running the sun has gone down, and Dan is napping on the grass, like a crazy person.

He goes over to him and just, rubs himself all over Dan’s face, his wet nose pressing behind Dan’s ear, his whole body vibrating with how good it is. He should probably stop, since Dan hates having anything near his neck, but he can’t help it.

Dan is so _good_. He smells so nice and he’s warmer than sunlight and Phil’s cat brain can’t find the words to describe it other than being close to Dan is better than lying down on the grass sunbathing on a spring afternoon.

When he eventually wakes up, Dan pushes him away laughing, and they both walk back to their apartment for an early night in.

The last thing Phil remembers is being carefully lifted off the ground and placed on a soft bed, A wall of warmth behind him. And then everything goes dark.

\---------

Dan wakes up with a weird crick on his neck which is weird because as far as he remembers he slept on his bed and it’s insanely comfortable.

The next thing he notices is that his face is all smushed on what seems to be a very pale and male chest.

He freaks out a little bit until he remembers Phil’s dumb tumblr curse and breathes a sigh of relief. A part of him was scared Phil would never turn back into a human and they would have to communicate via meows for the rest of their lives. I mean, they would've had to change all of their merch...except the cat whisker themed ones, that would've been oddly fitting.

He’s so relieved he throws himself at Phil, disregarding all notion of personal space or the careful barrier they've been building for the past couple of years.

Phil squeaks awake and his heart beats fast in confusion for a bit before he relaxes into Dan's hold. They both laugh in relief and Phil can feel Dan's smiling into the crook of his neck. God, he missed being the perfect size to hold Dan.

It's all lovely and fun until Dan's hand on his back lowers a bit too close to his arse and Phil realizes he's completely fricking naked right now.

Dan seems to realize the same thing because they jump apart so fast, Dan falls off the bed, taking the covers with him. 

Phil flails for a bit and grabs a pillow to cover his..umm.. exposed lower parts.

"Oh God" says Dan, throwing the covers at Phil and turning around towards the door, knocking into everything on the way there. "I'm gonna um, make breakfast or, go throw myself out the window now, okay? Glad you're back by the way."

Phil hides underneath the covers and makes a sound that he hopes Dan translates into 'Yes, breakfast would be lovely, please don't throw yourself out the window, I'm glad I'm back too.'

After he gets dressed and they have breakfast, Phil takes a selfie with his empty bowl to post on twitter when Dan shouts from the kitchen, where he's washing up his dishes.

"Hey Phil?" he asks, a bit tentative.

Phil looks up from his phone. "Yeah?"

Dan puts down the dish he's drying and props himself against the counter. "Do you remember everything? from last week I mean."

Phil looks down for a bit, then shakes his head. "I kind of remember chasing after a child with a lollipop? And a cow mooing for some reason? Does that make any sense?"

"Right," Dan bites his lip and forces out a smile. "That would be you being a dick during the radio show, I'll show you later."

They both go back to what they were doing and that'a that. Life goes on.

\--------

They settle back into their lives so easily, they're like a perfectly synchronized, well oiled machine. 

Dan knows he should be grateful that Phil doesn't seem to remember anything from his feline days and that they're back to being BFFS5EVA, but he keeps wondering how Phil would've reacted to his confession. If he would've let him down easy, or if he would've thrown himself into his arms for a passionate kiss.

He finds himself staring into space at random times thinking about it, over and over again, running through every possible scenario.

Phil starts noticing too, letting out little exasperated sighs whenever Dan stops paying attention to what he's saying or starts behaving too awkwardly after one of little fantasizing episodes.

It all comes to a head one afternoon a few days after Phil went back to normal.

They're sitting on the sofa watching Doctor Who when Phil decides Dan's shoulder would be a much better pillow than the one he's currently using. He starts to lean down when Dan jumps about a feet in the air and starts apologizing.

Phil huffs in frustration and crosses his arms, "You said nothing had to change between us, Dan. You said we were fine."

Dan's mouth drops open. His head starts spinning, breath catching in his chest. 

Phil knew. 

All this fucking time Dan spent agonizing, thinking about what it would be like, to finally tell him, he _knew_.

“You remember?” Dan asks, outraged “all this bloody time I’ve been thinking you didn’t remember a thing, acting like a fool, what the fuck Phil. Were you ever planning to tell me?”

“I just, I didn’t want to make things weird.” Says Phil.

Dan purses his lips together “right, well at least now I know how you feel” as soon as the words leave his mouth he realises why he’s so angry. There was always a part of him that hoped Phil would still feel the same way about him and that they would end up together again, eventually.

Phil just brutally murdered that part of him and Dan has...absolutely no right to be angry at him right now.

“I need to leave before I say something I’ll regret.”

He looks at Phil and finds him standing in the same spot with his mouth open in a perfect O of shock after Dan’s little outburst.

He turns to get his keys from the coffee table and pats his pockets to make sure his cellphone is in there before heading out the door. He practically runs down the flights of stairs, nearly killing himself in the process but doesn’t stop until he’s out in the street, crisp air blowing his still curly hair all over the place.

He’s debating whether to call Louise or Pj (Pj probably wouldn’t ask any questions, Louise would have a plate of something yummy to distract him while she demands to know every single detail of the fight.)

He’s dialing Louise’s number when Phil comes bursting out of the building’s front door, looking frantically around him until his gaze falls upon Dan and he sighs in obvious relief.

“Dan wait,” he says, like suddenly they’re in some cliché rom-com.

“Phil, I’m not even moving.” Says Dan with the same sarcastic expression he always uses whenever Phil does something ridiculous.

Phil shakes his head with a small smile, like he always does when faced with Dan’s sassy replies, and for a moment Dan can’t possibly conceive a universe in which he and Phil aren’t meant to be together. His brain literally cannot comprehend it.

Which is why He lets himself be led by Phil to sit on the dirty stairs at the entrance of the building, never taking his eyes off their intertwined hands.

Phil doesn’t let go when he starts talking either. “I think you misunderstood what I said before about making things awkward.”

Dan raises his eyebrows in a ’oh really’ manner.

“Yes really.” Replies Phil, who is clearly psychic. “Dan the reason we broke up was never because I didn’t love you or you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I know, I know it was my fault.”

“No shhhh, let me finish,” interrupts Phil. “We broke up beacause it was killing both of us to keep it a secret, but at the same time I could never make you come out like that, and especially not at nineteen. I loved you too much to see you so sad all the time bear.”

Dan considers talking then but it looks like Phil’s not done yet.

Phil’s other hand comes to join the first one, rubbing comforting circles on Dan’s inner wrist. “Of course I love you, you spoon. As if I could ever stop.”

Dan’s heart is beating embarrassingly fast and his hands are becomming clammy trapped between Phil’s. “Then why?” He asks. Why didn’t you tell me? Why aren’t you kissing me right now? Why have I been pining over you for three fucking years?

Somehow, Phil seems to get the implications of his incomplete question because he answers “I just don’t want history repeating itself. We’re even more in the spotlight than before! If the fans were crazy about ’phan’ back then, it’s nothing compared to how it is now,” he shakes his head “I would never put you through that again.”

Oh.  
Oh, they’re both such idiots.

Dan starts laughing.

Phil makes a startled noise but Dan honestly can’t stop. It’s just, this whole thing is so stupid. It’s even worse than Phil turning into a cat on the silly scale. As if he would be keeping anything secret this time. No way, this time around he’s doing things right and he wants the entire universe if possible to know that he and Phil are NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT PLATONIC.

When he’s able to control his giggles a bit he squeezes Phil’s hands and says “I don’t want us to be a secret anymore. Phil, I’ve had time in these past three years to grow the fuck up enough to know what I want. And I want you. I want a life together.”

“Wait are you - are you serious?” Says Phil with the most heartbreakingly hopeful smile.

“Yes, Phiiiil I’ll even show you the draft of my coming out video if you want. Now will you please just be my boyfriend already because I think it rained earlier and my bum is wet and freezing right now.”

Phil’s answering smile is like the sun comming out of the clouds after a three year storm and Dan is so, so happy to see it again.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks shyly, and before he can react Phil is literally throwing himself at him, almost knocking him off the steps.

The kiss is like, it’s like putting on his comfiest, warmest hoodie whilst riding a rollercoaster. It’s a paradox of familiar and and new all at once. Their lips move perfectly in sync, slotting together effortlessly, like no time passed at all since the last time they did this. Dan lifts his hand up to cup Phil’s cheek and changes the angle of the kiss, deepening it and seeking Phil’s tongue out with his own, making sparks of lightning shoot up his arms and explode in his stomach.

It’s the best kiss of his life. The first one of the rest of their lives.

\----------  
.  
After they get back together they decide to take a couple of weeks off and go north to visit Phil’s family and just enjoy being together again. It feels a bit like a honeymoon, both of them giddy and moonyeyed the entire time (Phil’s mom legit sheds a tear when she sees them holding hands at the front door and Dan finds himself hugging her extra hard.). Dan would be embarrassed but he’s honestly just so _happy_ he feels like he could burst with it, and it shows.

They meet up with some of Phil’s childhood friends at the pub (He turns uber northern when he’s around them, it’s hilarious) and Phil introduces Dan as his boyfriend for the first time. Phil’s friends greet him with warm smiles and some ’finally’s are heard all round the table.

Dan can’t keep the stupid smile off his face for the entire evening. Neither can Phil.

The rest of their stay there, they spend walking along the beach during the mornings trying (and failing) to get tan; and lying down on the roof of Phil’s house looking up at the stars at night, the silence only interrupted by the sounds of their lips meeting over and over again like there are magnetic forces pulling them together.

\--------

They come out on a tuesday. On a Danisnotonfire younow livestream

It’s the first one they’ve done in almost a month, and people have been going out of their minds waiting for it. Yeah, they’ve been tweeting occasionally and they’ve uploaded a couple of gaming videos they had pre-recorded but he knows it’s not the same.

Anyway, they have this whole thing prepared. Dan cannot _wait_ for them to break the internet.

“So Phil turned into about a month ago” is the first thing he says. “That’s a thing that happened. Show of hands who already knew. Yep yep. So, everyone then.” He says, laughing.

The comments blow up talking about how adorable Phil is as a cat and how his life is an actual disney movie, amongst other things.

He takes advantage of the commotion to call out to Phil, who is hiding just outside the door of the lounge.

“Well, you’ll all be happy to know that he’s back to his usual adorable self, right Philip?” He asks as Phil’s face appears on the screen.

“Right,” he says to the camera, then turns to kiss Dan on the cheek “Hi, love.”

Dan blushes a bit but mostly keeps his cool. By which he means, he goes completely red and gets totally flustered.

“Did you make dinner?” He asks Phil because they’re so unbelievably married even if they’ve only been properly together again for a month.

Phil humms and looks up at Dan from where he’s been biting the soft fabric of the collar of his sweater, “Made a stir fry.”

Dan ignores the total implosion of the internet that’s currently going on in his computer and turns the full effect of Heart Eyes Howell onto Phil, who keeps nibbling on his sweater, oblivious.

Turns out a few of the cat things stuck to him and Dan finds it too adorable to tell him to stop.

He turns back to the camera and says “So as you can probably guess, Phil and I are together now,” Phil nods in support. “We hope you’re okay with it and support us like always, not much is going to change I promise, except as you can probably tell we’ll be even more embarrassing and obnoxious. And if you’re not okay with it then you can just delete yourself tbh because you’re irrelevant.”

They end the livestream 40 minutes early, mostly because they indeed broke the internet (oops, sorry not sorry) with no further explanation or response to the overwhelming amount of comments, simply saying goodbye to some of the viewers and closing the laptop.

Dan lets out a breath and slumps down to rest his head against Phil’s. He feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and it’s being replaced by light, threatening to burst out of him every time he looks at the man beside him.

After a moment of consideration he pulls out his phone and starts composing a tweet.

Right before he posts it Phil peeks at his phone and snorts.

“Dan you can’t post that!” he says, laughing unwillingly.

“For the sake of symetry Phil, don’t you care about symetry?”

“No!”

Dan presses the blue button.

“Whoops, it’s gone now, can’t take it back.”

He can tell Phil’s trying really hard to act angry but his lips keep quirking upwards like he can’t physically keep them still.

His own smile is blinding even as he leans down for a kiss, holding their lips together for a moment before he breaks the kiss and quickly posts a second tweet.

Phils takes his own phone and bursts out laughing when he reads it. He quickly favorites the first one and retweets the second one before turning off both their phones, effectively disconnecting them both from everything except each other.

**Author's Note:**

> UMMMMM IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT FIC AND THEN SOMEHOW IT BECAME FRIENDS TO LOVERS AND THEN COMING OUT FIC AND I JUST????????? OOPS??
> 
> fic title from 'What's new pussycat' because thanks to that one joke I'm now aware of the existence of that song and I figured, ridiculous fic deserves ridiculous title.
> 
> Hit me up oooon [Tumblr!](http://colfer-o-brien.tumblr.com/)


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